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I know so many lovely, horny, available, middle-aged women that I sometimes wonder if my sex-life wouldn’t be more abundant if I switched teams, so to speak. In reality, most of these women I know are totally hetero and wouldn’t dream of engaging in anything play without a penis. I get that too.

But why is it that so many women are afraid to post a profile on the internet and meet men this way?

Actually, the sheer numbers of women ‘joining up’ have been growing steadily these last several years and the number of choices in dating portals grows daily. Signing up is not equivalent to success. As in all other things worth having, it takes some planning, some preparation, some homework, and certainly, all of that sucks time.

But if you are looking for a mate, for a night or a lifetime, I can’t imagine doing it the old fashioned way . . . just waiting for the world to blow your way the man/woman of your dreams. Sorry, for those of us who have run business enterprises, or juggled family and career, there is no time for trolling. Many busy women are not able or willing to troll the singles bars, and though they might be pining for the love of their lives, they will ask these questions about internet dating:

a. Aren’t you afraid of being with a pervert or stalker?

b. Aren’t you afraid that he will just lie and say he’s one person when he’s really another?

c. Aren’t you afraid it might be someone you know in disguise just tricking you (like an ex-husband).

In regard to A and B, l always respond “Meeting a stranger in a bar or through a friend or relative guarantees he’s not a pervert or a stalker? Meeting someone through some traditional means equates to an honest hook-up?” And in regard to the third question, I agree, it is distinct to internet dating. Someone can post a picture of someone else and pretend that’s who they are, and chat and email away for months and years on end, without being discovered. As long as there is no face to face meeting, there is no discovery. And that’s why I have my ‘rules of engagement’.

Every internet dating candidate develops his or her own rules of engagement, or at least, those who have done it for some time do. Sometimes you meet your soulmate right off the bat, but I’m guessing that happens to the minority. It’s been a decade already, but I once met a man in Berlin, at a conference, who was Dutch, born, raised, and lived in Holland until he was 50 years old. He was married 30 years when he and his wife got a divorce and he remained divorced and lonely several years after. Then one day a friend recommended internet dating. He met the love of his life in a chatroom and at the time he was telling me this, he was 55 and living happily ever after in – of all places – Tennessee, which is where his new wife was from. This man was a poster-child for successful internet matches. Wonder if they are still happily married . . .

Submit your internet dating stories via ‘comments’ at the bottom of the page. Please tell us if you are male or female and your age, with each submission.